They're Older Now



They’re older now. 

The time has sped past, and life has pushed forward, and things have changed.

You’re still gone, and we still miss you. 

They’re older now.

All  you’ve missed, the birthdays, the holidays, the bumps & bruises, the triumphs & tragedies – always “present” but not quite “there”.

Noticeably, you’re still gone, and we still miss you. 

You’re still gone and we all still miss you. 

There are times when you are very present in what we do and who we are, and moments when we think, gee ya know Sparky would have ….

But you’re still gone, and we still miss you.

They’re older now.

And getting older by the minute, him longer and leaner, every bit a little you.

She’s taller and wiser, and more feisty each day that goes by – but you knew that was coming.

And yet, you’re still gone, and we still miss you.

We’re all older now.

All of us have aged, more it seems in the last two years than ever before.  Change is inevitable, and the grays will come –I know you’re laughing about those!

Except you of course - all eternity as the young, handsome, vital spark (pun intended) that you were when you left. 

And you’re still gone, and we will always miss you.

Love

Me

Blog blog bloggity blog blog blog.

So it’s been a while, life has had some hurdles, but time has not stopped or even slowed.  Here we are on the other side of whatever and I look around me and go, geesh who’d have thunk it.  We made it, more dented, more scared, more wary, and hopefully, just a little more wise.

I started writing this blog, way back when, as a sounding board and vent, for all those things bouncing around in my not so stable noggin and following this extremely long hiatus I wonder if I really have anything to say that requires me to continue to write said blog.

Has the time that has passed jaded me so that I no longer have ranting and ravings of a casual mind, and I’ve simply resigned myself to the fact that things, whatever they are will never change? 

Or is it that as I’ve changed the ranting and ravings have become more of a dull roar on the back burner of my feeble mind which is now more regularly taxed with everyday pressing issues – have I simply become a “grown-up” type person who recognizes that there are more important things in the grand scheme.

Or am I just getting old?  Hey, it happens, I’m okay with it, gray hairs appear, children feel the need to point them out, music comes on the “oldies” stations and I sing along thinking “hey these aren’t oldies” . . . . my children ask me more, “hey mom in the olden days when you were a kid…” aren’t they sweet.

Whatever the reason, I think that I will continue, if for nothing else then my own feeling of “getting it out there” whatever it is……. A favorite line of mine from You’ve Got Mail sums up my feeling: 

“I don’t really want an answer.  I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void.  So, good night, dear void.”

That’s all…..for now

I'm tired

The roads that we all travel are long and arduous.   There are perils and pitfalls, highs and lows, trials and tribulations.  Some things are left to fate and some things are constant, but all in all it's a crap shoot. 

There are those who will bail when you don't conform to their will.  There are those who will stay no matter what. 

There are those who will choose to support you regardless, and there are those who will look for the soft spot and kick you when you're down.

There are those who you think will be there no matter what - time, distance, feast or famine, agreements, disagreements and - then they are not. 

There are those that you did not expect and yet you don't know what you would do without them.

There are those who by no fault of their own, can't adjust to whatever the world has offered up and there are those who take it as it comes, hoping for the best, planning for the worst and sometimes ending up with a happy medium.   

People are people, human beings are a fickle lot.  I am a fickle human being.  I acknowledge I am not perfect, but I try my best.  I work hard to not harm others intentionally, to be patient and supportive to those who need it, to not judge based on what I think is best, because my perception is not another's reality.  I guess my real problem is that I honestly expect the same in return. 

You'd think by now I'd know that and be prepared for it, and yet I'm not.  I don't expect the kick, nor do I see it coming, I believe that what is said is what is meant and yet when it's not I am still surprised.  Perhaps I expect too much, perhaps I hope for the best, perhaps I try to hard, perhaps I am (as my husband always told me) just too naive. 

Perhaps, I'm just tired.
That's all.