Can we just skip it?



I would like to skip this day.

I would like to have skipped this day last year.

I would like to have skipped this day the year before.

I would like this day to never have happened.

But it did.

So here we are. Again.

Each year we get here and each year I expect this to be different.

Less sad, more distant, less vivid, less crushing….anything.  

But it’s not.

It’s different, for sure, because time moves forward, with or without my help. 

I don’t want to appear the martyr, because I’m not, and that would have made him mad anyway.

I don’t want to appear cold, because I’m not, and that would make me mad.

I can do the birthday.

I can  do the wedding anniversary.

I can (almost) swing moments of “gee ya know if Sparky were here …”

I just want to skip this day.

Is that really too much to ask?

I suppose it is.

So here it is again, but for the record, I’d really rather skip it.